The Twitter-verse never disappoints. Whether it is obsessing over a rather handsome tea-seller or nitpicking a photo gone wrong, it is always buzzing. And there is always something to pick apart, satirize or even just rip into shreds.
Now, I should clarify; I am not claiming to be our resident savage. That crown is perched safely atop Nusair Teli’s head. Who, by the way, just turned twenty-four. Show him some love and share some of his posts, please?
But, I do dabble in the art of artfully insulting the exceptionally ludicrous. Usually by offering up something else that the internet frequenters can tweet about.
And as Miss Hocane and her beau find themselves in the company of bluebirds, I wanted to do just that.
All Aboard the Photo (and/or Meme) Express
I mean I get it; a high-fashion photo shoot turning into a meme, the punchline writes itself. But, the headlines these past few weeks have been particularly solemn. So that now when I see the image transformed into online fodder, I can’t find it funny anymore.
At the risk of sounding like your eleventh grade algebra teacher; is that really all you’re concerned about? A photo shoot; really? Really?
I can’t deal with it anymore.
So, these are some things that happened while you were composing that oh so funny tweet. I’m willing to wager that they may demand more attention than a starlet and her man. And, I’m just about willing to trust your ability to prioritize again.
Really, I am. Just please don’t go down the spectacle route again. Please.
Major Development in Zainab Murder Case
After the rape and murder of young Zainab in Kasur, the nation witnessed a sea of protests. Countless took to the streets, demanding justice.
On Friday, police arrested two suspects. According to reports the two men arrested are brothers and have been arrested on the basis of forensic evidence.
According to the police, the same culprit is responsible for eight cases of kidnapping, rape and murder, including Zainab’s.
The first of these cases came to light in 2015. In 2017, police shot and killed a 21-year-old man, who they claimed was responsible for the crimes.
Later, when other children were murdered, DNA evidence indicated that the killer was still at large.
Important Actions Taken After Naqeebullah’s Killing
The killing of 27-year-old Naqeebullah sparked outrage, and condemnation. The then SSP Malir, Rao Anwar claimed that Naqeebullah was affiliated with a terrorist group. Naqeebullah’s family, friends and activists denied the claim.
An inquiry team of senior police officers found that the young Waziristan native was killed in a “fake encounter”. Stating that he had no ties to the TTP as alleged by Anwar.
Rao Anwar was removed as SSP Malir.
Following this, Karachi police replaced SHOs of eleven police stations in the Malir area.
Naqeebullah’s family is set to travel to Karachi to appear before the inquiry committee. Police have reportedly promised them security during this time.
Firing Along the Line of Control (LOC)
Firing from across the Indian border claimed the lives of six people on Sunday.
Civilians in villages in Sialkot and Azad Jamu and Kashmir faced the brunt of firing during Friday night and throughout Saturday. Twenty-five people were also reportedly injured.
The injured villagers were taken to nearby hospitals; many injuries were reported as severe.
Seminary Pupil Beaten to Death by Teacher
A young boy was allegedly beaten to death by his medressah (seminary) teacher in Karachi. The young boy, identified as Mohammed, had previously fled the seminary because of harsh punishment.
His parents had recently brought him back to the seminary. Police claim that there were signs of torture on the child’s body. They have taken the accused, Qari Najmuddin into custody.
According to reports, the child’s parents refused to lodge a case against the accused. Reportedly however, the police itself registered a case against him.
Corporal punishment, such as physically hurting a child, has been illegal in Sindh since 2017.
Chief Justice Ordered the Removal of Barricades Outside Hamza Shehbaz Sharif’s House
Chief Justice Mian Saqib Nisar ordered the removal of barricades placed outside Hamza Shehbaz Sharif’s house.
Mr. Sharif is a PML-N MNA (Member of National Assembly) and the son of Shehbaz Sharif. But C J Nisar didn’t seem to know (or care) about this, quipping, “who is Hamza? I don’t know any Hamza.”
The order came as C J Nisar conducted a suo motu hearing about road blocks being placed for ‘security’ reasons.
He also warned that he’d check the area to make sure that his orders were acted upon.
Now, you’ll notice that this list is a tad bleaker than its previous sisters. Also yes, that was bitter sarcasm you noticed in that last entry.
But I can’t help myself; times are dark, nothing makes sense anymore. Yes there is a possibility that the future may offer something nicer. But there is also the certainty that the present hates us.
In the midst of this, a few tweets about a photo malfunction I can take. A day worth of such tweets I’m almost okay with.
Two days even, I can just about stomach.
But more than that? No, no, just no.